Okay, I finally sat down to write that essay, and it pretty much threw itself together because of all of the copying and pasting. I was only dreading it because I have to do it in Japanese, which takes at least twice as long. All I had to do, really, is translate something from English into Japanese (or, in my case, Japanese into English) and discuss my work "logically." To tell you the truth, I don't know what the hell that means. Just a bunch of hairsplitting. It's not interesting AT ALL, but my professor will probably disagree, and so probably would my classmates, because they're all a bunch of freakin' weirdos.

I'm seeing Ken Ishii again tonight. That's going to be fucking boss. The following is a video of him playing with Joris Voorm, a guy I've never heard of, at Womb, a club in Shibuya at which I saw David Guetta in...I don't remember because I was so drunk. Doot doot doot beep beep boop beep boop!



Anyway, I guess I'll get good, clean and drunk now.

I can't bring myself to even start this assignment I'm supposed to be doing right now. It's for that whack translation class, so yeah, it's kind of hard to write at length about anything I've done in that class.

Yeah.

Jesus Christ, this is going to be hard.

I was sitting at a bar by myself tonight, when I started to wonder, for reasons I'm about to explain, why I haven't already started to patronize prostitutes. Perhaps, someday, when I'm better at statistical analysis and Microsoft Excel, I'll be able to publish a hilarious report about this that will make me infamous on teh internets, but yeah. I've already come up with a handful of questions I need to answer as soon as I've compiled enough data. Considering my habits, that probably shouldn't take too much time. At least in theory. I mean, how the fuck am I gonna keep track of it? Anyway...

First of all, how much, on average, does it cost me to get laid, and how do I account for that? I've already decided how I'm going to measure success: if I got sex, then I've been successful. But how do I define the periods? Am I still in the same period if I wake up drunk the next day and go out earlier than I usually do? Where do mere "sexual encounters" like blowjobs and handjobs fall? Should I count them at all? Should I give them with a lower value? Should I give them equal value, because it's pretty degrading to blow a guy in the middle of the street at three o'clock in the morning? Gosh, econ is so fun.

Next, what exactly is so great about meeting chicks in bars and taking them home to do it that's so much better than just hiring a hooker to do the same thing? Is it the fact that I don't have definite time constraints? I was in a forum the other day, and this guy posted a website for an escort service that employs mainstream pornstars. One of the women who works for them is a broad I've been jacking off to since I was in high school. Her rate? $1,600.00 per hour. In case you forgot, prostitution is illegal in the United States. Chances are that I would probably have to blow something like $15,000.00 or $20.000.00 just to get laid.

Or is it about the boost to my self-esteem? Actually, no. To tell you the truth, it's not, and it never has been. I know when I go out that I'm fighting a losing battle because my goals are too immediate. My friends are more patient, because they're willing to deceive and often tease women into doing their bidding. I think they're more successful than me in the long run, because they rack up a long list of bitches and groom them until all of them come at them at once, and then they come back to me like, I FUCKED X NUMBER OF CHICKS THIS WEEKEND OMG. Yeah, well, I'm just not cut out for that approach, and I never have been. The moment I feel the tiniest bit of negative feedback, I abort the mission. I mean, I'm forward, but I'll back off if a woman wants me to. But I guess if I were more cautious and above all else, more confident, I wouldnt' have this bogus problem.

Anyway, as I was saying, more often than not, I just come on too strong. Sometimes, it works, and it's satisfying, but I know that it's not because I'm good looking or charming. Rather, it's because she's easy. And whatever. That's her life, and I'm happy to be a part of it, if only for a few hours. I'm becoming less and less fond of these types, though, because like I'm trying to outline above, meeting them costs me money. I have to go to bars. I have to buy drinks. Not for them, but for myself. Both to work up the nerve to talk to them and just to hold on to the right to keep taking up space in there. The last time I got one of them home, she was English-speaking. She wasn't cooperating with me in bed, and I got to the point that I was so frustrated I said, "I swear to god, if you don't (do this), I'm going to jack off on your fucking face right now."

Anyway, I jacked off on her later even though she followed my orders, because like I said a few entries ago, experience has told me that these chicks never want anything to do with me after they're done. I didn't have anything to lose, and I thought it was funny, and man, was I laughing. Maybe THAT'S why she won't answer my phone calls.

It's not something I lay awake at night thinking about because I'm hopelessly lonely. Rather, it's something I often think about because if I had someone I could call now and then when I feel like I need sex instead of going to a bar and trying to find another person with my retarded high-risk, high-return approach, I'd save a lot of money.

That leads me to my next point. Although hookers might be cheaper in the long run considering my success rate even if I visit them two or three times as often, will I be satisfied? Experience tells me that I won't. When I was dating Momoko, I was having sex with her at a rate of several times a day. You know, since she lived in a different prefecture and she had a job and I had school and shit, we couldn't see each other EVERYDAY, but when we did, we fucked so much that if measured week by week, yeah, three or four times a day. And when you spread that out over two or three days per week, yeah, my balls hurt just thinking about it even now. But in the good way.

Anyway, I'm tired. But I swear to god that I'm gonna try to put something together once I figure out how to make it make sense.

So I'm supposed to be writing a five page paper for my Translation Theory class about something someone presented during the course of the...course.

Let me tell you a little something about that class. The first day, our professor, Nohara, asked the people in the room who were majoring in Linguistics, or something related to it, to raise their hands. Out of about 35 people, about 30 raised their hands. It didn't mean much to me at the time, because I was too busy praying to Satan that she wouldn't call on me and ask what my major is like she did one or two of the people who were like me.

Anyway, as the deadline to drop passed and the quarter progressed, I realized that I was really out of my element. To be frank, I don't feel like I learned anything useful during that course. Discussions were shockingly unproductive (we (and by that I mean they--I won't touch this crap with a ten foot Jap pole (Jap pole? What the fuck?)) spent nearly ten minutes this past Tuesday talking about why "marshmallow peep" can't be translated into Japanese...and that's just one example of what every class is like) and assignments were pointless (I once had to translate a children's story from English into Japanese and explain in a short essay the reasons why I chose the names I did for the characters).

Whenever I bitch about this to my friends, the first thing out of their mouths is, "...Why the fuck are you taking that class?" And I'm like, "WAH! I DON'T KNOW! I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT!"

I'm interested in financial translation for a few reasons. First, I've found out the hard way that no one is going to help me build a functional vocabulary. I learned a lot of great words and their nuance in that Labor Economics class I took (MUCH more on that in the coming days) and through my independent research for Japanese writing last quarter, and that's because I groped topics that my Japanese teachers would never touch.

Next, I think that tittering around, translating children's books is just plain unproductive. That probably did more damage to my brain than all the drinking I've done in the past year (okay, maybe not). But really, it's just a waste of time. I've thought about stuff like that enough already. "Hmm, how would I say that in Japanese? Oh, gosh! I don't think I can!" Profound.

Anyway, I'm gonna go get drunk in Takanobaba now. I might talk about this some more later.

AtaraxiaixaratA: Niggie
GabrielFactorial: my fucking computer restarted
AtaraxiaixaratA: God dammit
GabrielFactorial: i'm writing the most hateful shit to my ex girlfriend right now
AtaraxiaixaratA: Yoon joo?
GabrielFactorial: no, momoko
GabrielFactorial: she made some remark about how i could get a "chinese" girlfriend after i go back to usa
GabrielFactorial: and i think she's trying to imply that the japanese are superior to the chinese
GabrielFactorial: i've taken dumps smarter than her
AtaraxiaixaratA: Oh word. Can i myspace you what i texted mel?
GabrielFactorial: i'm just going to tell her what i always thought about her
GabrielFactorial: don't myspace it, because i won't read it
AtaraxiaixaratA: Wtf...
AtaraxiaixaratA: Alright. Just reply in this im... Don't want to keep logging into and out of my email
GabrielFactorial: let me get back to you, because i'm drunk and i'm about to go out to da club
GabrielFactorial: i should just reply to you on email
GabrielFactorial: god, momo is dating a guy who's 8 years older than her and she says she's happy
GabrielFactorial: she's such a fucking idiot
GabrielFactorial: that guy is just like, fucking her
GabrielFactorial: i mean, so was i, bu god damn it, i'm a good liar, too
AtaraxiaixaratA: Yeah i guess just reply to the email
GabrielFactorial: yeah
GabrielFactorial: i can do that this weekend
GabrielFactorial: but i mena, i gotta do drugs and try to get laid and tell my ex what a piece of shit she really is
AtaraxiaixaratA: Haha
AtaraxiaixaratA: Girls are so fucking stupid
AtaraxiaixaratA: Haha
GabrielFactorial: momo has got to be the dumbest god damn person i've ever met, and that remark about the chinese sealed it


BTW, when my friend Marc was DJing in Roppongi last weekend, he put this on and it burned the place down.

Jerry is one of my best friends.

twofastforIove: this sucks
twofastforIove: i am probably gonna have to go back to korea
twofastforIove: well
twofastforIove: good possibility
twofastforIove: b/c i cant afford law school
GabrielFactorial: whaaaaat
twofastforIove: ya
GabrielFactorial: so you aren't gonna go?
twofastforIove: its like impossible to get any loans right now
twofastforIove: I'm going to try to get money
GabrielFactorial: join the military or something
twofastforIove: but in only have 2 weeks
twofastforIove: can't. no residency
GabrielFactorial: damn
GabrielFactorial: that really sucks
GabrielFactorial: you did all that work for nothing
GabrielFactorial: you probably aren't going to win the lottery within the next two weeks
GabrielFactorial: what are you gonna do if you have to go back to korea?
twofastforIove: I know
twofastforIove: do army
twofastforIove: go shoot myself in the head
GabrielFactorial: haha
twofastforIove: i could have bene looking for a job instead of doing this
GabrielFactorial: werd
twofastforIove: in which case I probably would have found one
GabrielFactorial: yep
twofastforIove: and gotten my green card
GabrielFactorial: yep
twofastforIove: and everything would have worked out
twofastforIove: fuck life
GabrielFactorial: werd
GabrielFactorial: so you're going back to korea and you don't know when you're coming back to usa?
twofastforIove: im probably not gonna come back to the usa if i cant pay for law school
GabrielFactorial: damn

And now we probably aren't ever going to hang out again.

GabrielFactorial: dude, you should read the blog called sadly, no!
GabrielFactorial: it's so fucking funny
CaptainBillstro: Maybe next time FOX can express shock that catering at Obama’s fund raisers doesn’t consist solely of fried chicken and 40Oz. bottles of King Cobra.
CaptainBillstro: hahahahahahahaha
GabrielFactorial: i told you
CaptainBillstro: The WaPo, still trying to defend the dignity it shredded by its breathless endorsement of Dick and George’s Most Excellent Adventure in Iraq
GabrielFactorial: hahahahahahahahahaha

Oh, also, I'm gonna get back into mixing again. I dabbled in it in high school, but now that I'm surrounded by people who really love this stuff, yeah. I wanna do it again. Too much coffee.

This is what I have so far. All I need to do now is figure out how to use this damn software I have.

1. Motorcycle - As The Rush Comes
2. DJ Shog - Feel Me Through The Radio (Inpetto Vocal Mix)
3. David Guetta - Do Something Love (ft Juliet)
4. Benny Benassi - California Dreamin'
5. David Guetta - The World Is Mine (Fuck Me I'm Famous Remix)
6. Eric Prydz - Pjanoo
7. Whitest Boy Alive - Golden Cage (Fred Falke Remix)
8. Benny Benassi - Shocking Silence <---I need to figure out how to cut the length, though. If there's a radio version, I don't have it.
9. David Guetta - Love Is Gone (Fred Rister & Joaquim Garraud Radio Edit Remix) <---This song is SO fucking good, man. I'm going to paste it below, but trust me, it sounds much better on MP3.

I called that girl again about fifteen minutes ago but didn't get an answer. Maybe it was too late. She could have some kind of job that requires her to get up early in the morning, or something. Not that I'd know, though. She wouldn't tell me anything about herself. And I don't really care, to tell you the truth. I thought it was funny. Stupid, but funny.

Then again, I'm pretty sure she picked up her phone and hit a button to stop the ringer when I called her tonight, because it didn't ring nearly as many times as one normally would when one gets the answering machine. I didn't leave a message, but I'm going to call her tomorrow, and I think I'll do that this time. And then I'll call her one more time on Friday, and if I don't hear from her again, well, fuck it.

This is a recurring theme in my miserable life. Chicks can't stand me. They might give me their phone numbers, or go home with me from a bar to have wild sex for several hours, but I never see them again after we separate, regardless of whether or not we've slept together. It doesn't hurt my feelings, and I never feel like I've been used (at least in a way that would damage my self-esteem). I definitely find it frustrating, though, because I have to start looking for someone else ALL OVER again. This isn't my new fucked up way of trying to establish a serious romantic relationship. I'm just lazy.

Anyway, yeah, fingers crossed that my phone rings or that she picks up tomorrow.